Dear Lola,
Where have you gone? What activities have you been up to? We are lost without your wise ways! Will you ever return to us and deliver wisdom in a way that saves the humans from their own shenanigans?!
Sincerely,
Lost in Readerville
Dear Lost in Readerville,
I apologize for my ridiculously long absence. After a two year hiatus I was finally able to tear my Mommybeast away from her other projects. As a canine, I am at the mercy of the human and her thumbs in order to put my words to paper, so to speak.
I am also illiterate and rely on the Mommybeast’s reading skills to tell me what problems have been sent in.
Now that I am back, I promise to put my full attention to solving the riddles that plague polite society. There are a lot of them, based on the number of letters that continued to pour in despite my forced sabbatical. Next week will mark the first of those letters and we are starting off with a bang. Apparently, the human race has really expanded the use of ‘no contact’ and it is causing chaos across the universe.
I have a whole list of people I’d like to go no contact with for their utter lack of treats when visiting my home.
However, I have managed to refrain from that dire option… because my Mommybeast keeps opening the door to them! You know who you are and I expect this problem to be rectified on Friday — I love the McDonald’s hamburger, plain, if you please.
♥Lola♥
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Shank You Very Much 